knock knock

So it goes like this....


I ve met a nice, guy and had a good time.
The other day, i met the guy and made my heart bloom for a while

I said goodbye, to a nice guy, but i didn't explain why
So i was free for the guy... never lied and never crossed the line

We started dating, then anxiety came, does he wants me? can it be ?
a dream was starting to form a skin

It was all great at the start and we kissed on the ideal edge
dreams and tears i had long shred there

I have good memories, good luck, Serendipity everywhere
but on a moment, it went wrong, cause he had luggages with him

he left for a while, and i ve cried, on the floor i was, no exaggeration after all
i was crying , where did i went wrong, why is it bad to ask for more?
there wasn't any, he hasn't left from his ex and i was crying ignoring that just yet

time was passing, and seemed it was ok, and hope was growing again
but he met his ex, who broke his heart once again.

he came back, and told named me friend, i said goodbye and left
i was on the floor, crying again,,, and again

1 month has gone, out blue he asked to see me again, i cried out of joy
like an almost dead, came to health, a wild feeling, i confeess

but he forgot me in a week but occasionaly asked me to see
a nasty game, he started, unclear what he wanted

hope was still there and keeping me on his trend
and i hoped, and an other month and one more has passed

i was still watching him close, unfortune i am, see him at the work
making my stomach hurt and not just that

so a night we went out, because his game got harder

and he told me, i thought wrong, he doesn't want me anymore
i asked him , why that game though

and he said i am sorry, i thought wrong

and once again i cried, and i cried

at least i know now, and i am cooler , and relaxed
and holidays has come, he was away and i was free very much

but now he is here once again, and i am afraid of that?

dunno why ? dunno what? i am just worried... do i still hope?

do i care?

what i know, is what i felt, like anything i did so far was too little,
somehow made my life small, felt tiny, powerless

what is next? hope i get over him fast and put my life on tracks,
i hope to fall in love again but don't let my self again... feeling so small...

because after all , he did many things wrong but never made me feel small, that was my fault
i made it to myself and this is why it hurts so much

a gap i feel, i was hopeing him to fill in, why i do so, i don't know,
but maybe next time, i do know

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