The road to love goes through being successful, A guide to being successful! The Epilogue: The mess is mine

It seems like you're expressing feelings of self-doubt and responsibility, and how these feelings have affected your ability to trust yourself and make decisions. You mention the idea of "holy pain" and "random pain," and the importance of recognizing and addressing past experiences in order to move forward. You suggest that forgiveness, both of oneself and others, is key in this process and that it can unlock blocked emotions and allow for a smoother path forward. Overall, it seems like you are encouraging self-reflection and self-responsibility as a way to improve one's life and relationships with others.

ChatGTP

knock knock

Hey there, I am not sure if this is supposed to be a lyrical or a rational statement. I will go for the flow as usual.

Diving deeper and deeper, having god now as a notion, I came across with my biggest Demon, Myself. Who am I? I am god and sinner, I am a punisher, I am a victim, I am. I am causing this to me all along. I am the person to be afraid, I am my biggest fear. Days and days I have felt I see everything except one thing, me. Unbearable to look, unbearable to touch now that I go to new directions, in fear I ruin it again. However, afraid to verbalize it.

The process of the guide "The road to love goes through being successful, A guide to being successful!;" is picking up slowly our responsibilities from safe ground. The jihad we have to cross, the path of recognition of ourself responsibility. It is painful and slow, but hang on, in the end, it will make sense and I promise you no pain that I can see.

How can I promise no pain through a painful path? Well, there is a holy pain and random pain. The holy pain I could endure and in some sense appreciate. The random pain, I can not. However, my dearest you are reading now, I recommend relinquishing and prejustice/prejudice (just realized the right spelling of the word, I will use poetic licence and prefer mine. I find it more clear). Continue reading carrying your judgment, both rational and emotional. Differently, you will not see any new notion in my words, prejustice has predefined your reality. I am not saying I am right. However, that is what I understand, and this is what I share.

The prologue of this epilogue is necessary to define the intention space that refines the thoughts that are following. I try to share as transparent as I can see. 

The self-responsibility path, it always strikes negative in me. A small pinch in me, knowing I am behind responsibilities. Always deficit, always incomplete. Even in moments of serenity, there was a curtain hiding them far away. The moments of serenity sometimes broken me looking for my bucket list. 

However, my biggest problem is to see them. Whining at the same time for the other people responsibilities that should be prioritizing. Losing the count of this crazy accounting. Moving neglecting it and one thing to the other to depression state. The point though I am referring now is the fear that I have around my responsibilities. That they clustered to become masses and clusters of problems that I could no longer open them. Filling in me with fear of growing up as grapes within me. Forgetting it, again and again, shoveling on grape of fear behind the other. 

Avoiding to see again and again myself, fearing of me. Stare me in the eyes and wonder what I should do with it. Why? Cause I failed me big time, betrayed me again and again. I can not trust myself anymore by shoveling again and again. Just because I am an unbearable person to live with. At least for me, and it is ok. I can phrase it, I can do something about it. 

People have their own responsibilities in my life, with me subconsciously or unaware allowing this to happen. In every turn of another person's responsibility, I will later find mine. No being clear enough, not welcoming enough, kind hostile, or intimidating. However, I am not implying a hyper-analysis to everything, but if someone like me does it, he will find again and again the same lack of self-responsibility. This comes as neglect of our feelings from childhood. What we endure today is the lack of trust within ourselves. For all these big betrayals we hashed and never looked into the eyes. The brain has recorded the mathematical imprint of self-harm, we just can not stand the pain of the realization.

And it is fucking ok. The missing information to see the problem is the frame of time. We want answers now, however, someone else is in priority. It is important to realize this someone else is you. It is of equal priority as your problem right now. Yes, balance social life. However, you can not escape yourself. If you are harsh with him, so your life is. I am not cursing, I understand that this is a fact. 

The unsolved inner problems reflect continuously in our live acts. Life responds. Accordingly, I am afraid there is no mathematical proof of it at the moment. However, when there is math, there is a solution. For me, it is accepted love forgive = hug. 

If we stuck forever at the moment we do not forgive ourselves, we are going to live it forever. It is as simple as that, and forgive me as universally applicable as it can get. I think it is a deterministic law. Now, what that means is to prepare for this path. Love is necessary, love is to accept whatever you have done, even if you do not. Forgive us for the recognition of the act and our feelings and thoughts around it with love. So it will flow with love within us and unlock the second blocade. So yes AFL is the only key within yourself, without mutating who you are. Mutations are not always pretty blue eyes, more often is cancer. 

Every blockade you break, the less maniac you will hit the fabric of reality. The smoother will be the horizon to where you need to get. However, it is painful to forgive your own unforgivable. AFL though somehow is cleansing the pain. 

There are three possibilities the way I understand them.

1) Remain passive to your responsibilities. No matter how good or bad your initial conditions I am afraid the fear of yourself will tear you.

2)  Stop claiming them, leave life waves to hit your shores. Your initial conditions will define your land. Maybe you stay a proud island over the years. However, the sea and the time will take away your shores. If you are not claiming new ones, careful not to lose the ones you have.

3) Start claiming your responsibilities. On a friendly pace to your system. Realize it is an investment, you can not hold all of them at the same time. Invest in yourself by forgiving him for not seeing these responsibilities. I think you will end up in placebo.

Last words of tools for the path\flow, none has to know except if you like. Keeping shame in minimum, our forgetful trigger. A good friend and a good hug. If friends are scarce... well god? Just remember he knows better than you. Actually, I needed both god and friends... my fear for me have reached divine levels. However, I think some people can do it with only themselves. 

No matter how hard our initial conditions are, and how our wavefunction tries to balance in the fabric of reality, self-responsibility recognitions guarantees you will maximize your shores in the fabric of reality. An eigenfrequency\idiofrequency within yourself, your wavefunction to keep increasing its amplitude over the bright tomorrows that are coming in. 

This is why devout is a problem, you stare at the nows of other people, This is why damning you're now, will separate you from your responsibility from your now. Like a spoilt child, that I want it now, I am still resolving a now difference between me and myself. All these times are mine. Sit and explain to me again and again why now is tomorrow but now is about you and me. 

Good luck. 

I promise you, it hurts less than you think.

It worths the journey. Cause we live to understand ourselves, no reason to waste time on misunderstandings.

Love you, really :)

mE. = Adam

PS: Vance Joy - "Mess is Mine", the solutions are repeated again and again through the ages. Pick the ones that work for you. 

PS2 : Sufjan Stevens - ''Chicago"... if you love Sufjan, you love Sufjan. 

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