Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It can be a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time, but it can also be influenced by factors such as upbringing and personal experiences. The pressure of other people's opinions can make it difficult to differentiate between one's own feelings and the feelings of others. This can lead to a lack of self-reflection and decision-making based on fear of what others may say, rather than one's own beliefs and values.
Validation from others can be important in certain contexts, such as in education or professional development. However, an excessive need for validation can become an addiction and feed the ego, leading to a distorted sense of self and a lack of self-reflection. Love and forgiveness can be key in breaking through these patterns, but they can also be trapped within the validation of others. It is important to balance the need for validation with self-reflection and respect for the feelings and opinions of others.
ChatGTP summary
Sometimes I wonder what empathy actually is!? Is it a different way of understanding people or just a skill you build up because other people's opinions matter? It has been ages, but it still feels I am trapped in other people's opinions. As time passes by, I see many more people are trapped in this net. What the people might say.
I started writing, although I am far from a concrete understanding of this notion. You see, my thought is bound from what other people may say. I unhook it, but the people are many and so their opinion. As time passed by, their opinion became my opinion. They? The invisible others.
The other branch of the problem was my haste to catch up with this beast. In other words, extrapolate an opinion and self reflect. As Jonathan Haidt explains, under pressure, decision making and argument doing work "separately." Decision making is done with emotional instinct, while arguments are build to explain the decision.
But then I am defending a decision based on the fear of what other people may say. What is worse, I am defending it to myself. The mechanism, though, was used to explain conspiracy theories. Well, I live in a conspiracy world. One that my mind is working to defend other's people opinions.
I am not sure if it was just the bullying. My mom has the same sensitivity, my dad that some bad decisions he made society faced them as righteous. I inherited all of those traits in me and today seems impossible to live out of them. Why? Was it neglect and stupidity? Or lack of time.
I do not believe in stupidity; I believe in psychological constraints. As they block your emotional rationality, they block your rationality in general. I think my parents did not have the luxury to make this line of thinking and abolish it from my upbringing. I think the kids in school had their personal story and reflected hate. While it was a few times, I did it too. When I had my chance, I was also bullied.
I can not use this as an excuse to maintain the cycle, but it is a fact. How to break through it, I do not know. I am certain it is love and forgiveness. But I am not sure how it is performed; maybe it is just the dimension of time.
However, there is coal that maintains this engine. I think it's confirmation or validation. We seek other's people confirmation to withstand the opinion of the rest. We may exclude you, but social media today show it is a widespread addiction. The weight of other people's opinions can be immense compared to one's personal opinion. The opinion even on self-reflection.
I never liked poppers, rather widespread in gay sex. They provide a short term highness, but also continuous and frequent use becomes necessary for sexual pleasure. I think others' opinions and confirmation do the same effect on my feelings or anyone's personal feeling. I easily disregard my own feelings without external validation, even when I am rationally sober.
I have heard validation is good, just on the right amount. I do not know about that. I think validation feeds the ego, and I am not sure what good an ego can provide to a sapient species as humans. Sure we are that to learn something we need a teacher who validates. Do we? Do we need someone to validate us or to help us to validate better our own work?
At the end of the day, my wits (or lack of it) is a combination of factors. But certainly, it is the accumulative process of all the people before me. I did not have to prove that earth is a sphere, prove mathematics, or any thermodynamics law. I did not have to invent human rights or create democracy, cure polio. They were given to me, and so the chance to live wiser and better.
My ego has been benefitted by the lack of it to other people, even unintentionally. So, in the end, I feel ego is an evolutionary burden that distorts human societies. It allows comparison with others like a mathematical operation wrongly used. I believe it creates inhuman capitalism, but I am not sure if it is the egg or the chicken.
Today I am exhausted because of other's people opinions, that has become my opinion. Harsh and inhuman, cruel and devastating. My energy is consumed in energy subconsciously, and I am in lack time. I do not want to give the impression that this is an illusion; other's people opinion eventually matter. Maybe not now, maybe never. History, though, has shown crimes of hate on what other people think.
This does not mean that we should give in, but maybe do not underestimate the task. An enemy is hidden in the shadows of our minds. I honestly believe love and forgiveness is the key. However, both are trapped within other's people's validation. I wait for people to validate my own love and forgiveness. And at the same time scorn them in my head! They don't know enough... Ego disregards them before I feed myself. Because their compassion fed my Ego, but somehow not me. The idea of myself and not myself? A circle that I am battling to cut.
So is it people validation the issue or the Ego? Well, I guess the better question would be other people feeling and how much I respect them? What about you?
Love
Adam.
Comments
Post a Comment