In love with Asian BL (Boy's love) v1.1

knock knock

Spoiler for some Asian BL bellow. Don't be afraid. Probably you won't remember them later. 

So I felt to babble about something lighter this time. Asian BL (boy's love) soapies! Hmm, and I will start from the beginning. My best friend (blessed to be friends since highschool) has gone into a new hobby. K-dramas and recently, the first real Korean BL was aired, "where your eyes linger."

So She lured me in... to watch it together. That's where it started... I am not surprised with the appeal but of its magnitude. Drawn so easily into this cheesy plot, impatient for the story to proceed and see the damned kiss (Because in Korea that's all you get. Feeling itchy? Try Thai-drama.) 

My eyes were wet, and my friend next to me supportive through this ridiculous state. I was aware that my facade of snobbing non-quality shows was as straight as Type (and now I think I get it). Well... I didn't linger further to this hesitation; I just spend coming days rewatching where your eyes linger clips again and again... and my bestie was gearing up for the next bl.

Then... there were few others between... before Addicted! Oh my god. This was unexpected, still on the top of my heart. I got addicted (irony on the title)... I stabilize my Knight, Gu Hai! (Although Timmy Xu is super yummy.) That where I started defining what the fuck is going with BL.

Well... it is not like it's my first gay drama; thankfully, western cinema can provide you with plenty of (mainly, or else who will take it seriously?) sad gay love stories—even mainstream and older shows, Queer as Folk, Will & Grace. But here, there was something new. What was with Gu Hai? After 10 times I watched it, I realized it was his determination to claim his feeling. Just that? It is already a cliche, one could argue.  

Well, then it was TharnType. Our show-captain (the Asian-Drama Guru of our pack) spoke. Tharntype is the king of BLs. Things went serious; we prepared, kicked my best friend's husband outside his own house (well, exaggerating a bit, but my gratitude to his patience!), and camped on the couch. Blankets, teas, and tissues. It was our first Thailand drama. OMG. If Addicted is my favorite one, then Tharntype is the one I loved with my bestie. It defined us. Crying, getting angry, frustrated, crying again, hugging and screaming. What caused it? The plot? The performance? Tharn's beautiful hands? [ I need to mention, I still don't get why the last episode had Lhong over 30 minutes... dear lord... In general, though, Tharntype suffers from some debatable points. But not my point atm.]

It took some time to recover from TharnType and resonate with a new show (I loved 2gether... skip last episodes of season 1 though.. meh ). Still, we continue watching and watching until we reached it today (On TharnType cameo in WHY R U? we screamed our lungs out of jubilation ). We just finished Together with me(I highly recommend lazysubber on this one. Lovely comments and explanations). Easily the hottest BL's actors so far [ Max Nattapol Diloknawarit, oh good lord, bring him to me, and I will learn to pronounce his name].

 After we finished it, a discussion of what is going to happen in season 2 developed. We strictly watch series with a happy ending (In Asia, they can be merciless on the drama, even von Trier looks cheering comparably). Hence, season 2 seems to break away from the romantic pink representation and break the forever of the main characters. In short, it gets "real." So there will be cheating, and nope... we are just not interested. We are not here to get to a mainstream representation of life and find resemblances in life with long detours to end up where we've started or finished, as a matter of fact.

There it was; this discussion helped me to crystalize what is going on with BLs and me.

The innocence of being in love. Raw. 

Jesus.

It has been a while I have fed up with most of the shows. It was not a matter of being good. They were tiring to me. I do see them as a very long detour around the catharsis has been established. The equivalent of bureaucracy in the art. Quality plots, series, movies, or scripts require complicated characters, plot twists, innovative direction, and who knows what else to impress us! Why? Or else it will be too plain? Too silly? Naive? Basic? Innocent maybe?

Western shows feel to me like taking a very long story to show me, love. In Asia, it's plain in your face. Yes! It was Gu Hai's determination that gave me goosebumps. It was his courage not to hesitate in whatever that mess society. Was his possessive? Yes! is that a problem? Surely. But it was the moment to politically correct the kidnap? It was not. 

In this raw, clumsy, if you like, representation of love, in this extravagance, I could connect and realize my determination is broken into so many small channels of worries that I feel and live like a coward. The risk of being exposed to love feels too high to take it. But there was a guy that was not stopped by his little thoughts and court his wannabe wifey. 

In western representation or a more sophisticated one... it would have been so complex that I will keep my attention busy with Gu Hai being struggling to surpass the social constraints. The internal process of doubt,  all the social noise that keep someone down.

Not in Asia bitch. Gu Hai claimed him,  Shamellessly and fearlessly, with a clarity that I admired. Like dancing in a ball, I would never dare. That is my knight, I guess. The one who doesn't fear the side effects of being in love.

How and why I lacked this representation in my psyche? Well, in adolescence, there was no time to contemplate love, too busy with self-hate of being gay. No cheesy shows, no innocent love for me. Later in life, I did what an ambitious human should do, or I thought I did—Carpe diem. Greedily jumping from love to love interest and from one bed to another. I wanted to catch up with my generation, fearing not to miss out on life experiences. Educate me into the complexity of human nature, pursuing serious drama, deep convoluted plots, and books, so I can be considered sophisticated.

But it was all academic in the end. I missed the beginning, the naive love. The security of forever. Is it a blessing or a massive delusion? Having educated me so much with heavy culture and succeeding a level that I can bitch practically about everything, just give me the chance. I think is a blessing. The question in life we all die anyway (or resurrect to my beliefs/reincarnate for some other - but let's stay cynical) it is not if forever lasts. But how many moments one can decorate with this euphoria and fulfillment of being in the state of love. 

"Man is unhappy because he doesn't know he's happy, only because of that." 
Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"Here tonight, I believe you" Cassandra, Dragon Age inquisition. 

"Today is life, tomorrow never comes" Wall in Matala. 

I have lived long enough to feel my life partitioned into distant isles. I may cherish the memories and be blessed to still have enough of them, but I understand doubting or scorn "forever" made me lose grasp of the present. Which is not only part of forever but its very beginning.  

So I l want to say I am in love with Asian BLs because I think they brought me to understand that forever is another word for feeling secure to taste now. Be courageous or indifferent that one day you may lose it. In other words, Being in love.

Love 

Adam.  

PS: One more thing, while my best friend crying with me, or having her own excitement about two boys in love... well, it was so liberating and comforting. Like the second wave of acceptance. Being accepting of being gay is easier today. However, being happy than indifferent for gay love is a bit rare... not to mention talks on the couch of scenes, comforting I will find my love, etc., which cure the murkiest of days.

PS2: Apparently, we plan for "I told the sunset about you" next! ^_^